Have you ever had a time you felt like you lost control of your life, lost yourself, and lost touch with who you are? You felt like a rug had been yanked from under your feet, and you felt a victim to circumstance.
This is how I felt when I first realised the impact of the words “you’ll never be able to have child”.
Childlessness for both men and women is not spoken about much and it may leave people feeling very isolated and lost experiencing grief and depression. We live in such a child centric world that at times it feels we are brainwashed into believing that parenthood is the only way worth living and the only true way to experience unconditional love. The good news is this is far from the truth.
There are hundreds of reasons people who assumed or planned to be parents may end up childless by circumstance. There are also those that may have consciously chosen not to have children during their child bearing years, but occasionally harbour regret and shed a tear for what might have been.
I’ve only ever wanted children of my own, and never to adopt.
I felt like I had failed as a wife, and daughter, and human being. And that I was a victim of disease and circumstance.
This experience caused me to re-evaluate my life. If I was going to continue on living, I’d have to find a way to enjoy it. The first thing was to find a way to fill the hole created by not having a child.
The second was to look at my values in life, and eliminate what was not congruent with that. My number one priority is to be happy.
And the third priority is to be healthy, and get my body back to balance and in the state it should have been before I started trying to fall pregnant. I’m still working through this one.
In the old way of thinking there are no solution except band-aid solutions such as medicines, IVF, and surgery, and months and months of counselling.
In this new world where we have the freedom and intelligence to explore alternatives, natural alternatives, we can find new solutions, and be responsible for our own health and healing. And be empowered.
The most common mistakes are to feel like you have failed, or feel a victim. And to get caught up in a chat group of others that drag you down or judge you.
The first thing to do is start surrounding yourself with people who lift you up and support you. I am one of those who can help, through lived experience. My purpose is to support women who are childless by circumstance, to move through the deep void of emotions, to re-empower them to take charge of their body and their life again.
We may not be mother’s but we can still leave a legacy by playing our part in transforming the planet for the better.
By Anne Barratt
Empowering Health
info@empoweringhealth.clinic
www.empoweringhealth.clinic
childlesssupport.com
